


Armor

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [53]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coping Mechanisms, M/M, Trust, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 09:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4386377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny is more than aware that Sam’s clothes are an armor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Armor

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone--  
> Another short, old Tumblr fic.  
> Warnings: Sam's coping mechanisms, being walled off, slowly letting down walls, developing trust, using clothes as representations.  
> Hope you enjoy.

Benny is more than aware that Sam’s clothes are an armor. That layer after layer are pulled on every day, serving as a tool to separate Sam from the rest of the world.

And it doesn’t take Benny too long to determine why Sam would feel it necessary. Sam is raw, a frayed nerve, hurt one too many times to risk being exposed and vulnerable once more. The clothes don’t stop the hurt–the world doesn’t seem to ever tire of hurting Sam Winchester–but Benny figures the clothes are one more layer of security Sam simply won’t do without.

Sam huddles in on himself, keeps his armor and his distance between himself and the world, between himself and Benny, and Benny makes himself be okay with that. What he wants is different from what Sam needs, and there will never be any question as to which of those comes first.

And then the cold distance between them falls away. Not all at once. It’s a slow process, and Benny is proud of it because he thinks that it means he’s proving himself. He’s showing himself to be someone Sam can put his faith in, someone who will not hurt Sam.

He is someone who would gladly lay his life down so Sam would not be hurt again, but Sam doesn’t know that and Benny does not know an appropriate way to tell him, so it stays quiet.

Benny doesn’t know exactly what they are. Friends, he supposes, although he’s not really sure if friends are always this close. Sam has taken to leaning against Benny’s side while he reads, and Benny’s hesitant attempts at shoulder squeezes and quick, one-armed hugs haven’t been rebuffed.

The shoes come off. Benny hadn’t even realized how strange that was, the fact that he practically never saw Sam without shoes. But now he sees it more than just when Sam is walking from the bathroom in the night. Sam starts walking around the Bunker in socks, sometimes in his bare feet.

On a hot day, Sam pulls off the over-shirt, leaving him in just a t-shirt and his arms bare. The shirt is tight, and Benny wonders if that’s a personal choice or simply a necessity because it must be hard to find things in Sam’s size.

They work side by side on a project that day, brushing shoulders all day and Benny doesn’t feel Sam flinch away once, and all he can think is that some piece of armor has truly come off to allow him in, even just a little bit. He’ll gladly take it as long as Sam is offering.

Their first kiss happens when Sam is in his pajamas. It’s not that Benny was unaware that Sam wore pajamas. But Sam doesn’t parade around in them, doesn’t wear them longer than to perform the function they’re designed for, unlike Dean who will spend all day in his bathrobe some times.

It’s been a long day, a long hunt, and Sam’s clothes are undeniably ruined. He trashes them on his way to the shower, and he comes out of the bathroom wearing his pajamas. Benny assumes he’s tired enough to be ready for bed already.

Instead, the two of them end up on the couch, Sam leaning into Benny’s side as a movie plays quietly in the background.

Sam thrums with some sort of nervous energy, his body unable to settle, and Benny wonders why Sam is putting himself through this, why he is making himself be so exposed if it hurts so badly. He wants to say something, has no idea what to say, but opens his moth to try anyways when Sam turns his head enough to kiss him, a soft, fleeting touch that leaves Benny stunned.

_Oh_.

When Benny doesn’t immediately respond, Sam shrinks away, and Benny knows that if he doesn’t do something than all the walls will come back up.

He rests one big hand on Sam’s face and pulls him closer. “Okay?” he asks.

Sam nods, and that’s all Benny needs to start kissing him again, longer, deeper, full of promises that Sam seems to understand.

It’s a good while before Benny sees Sam in less, before the layers strip away even further, the nerve even further exposed. It’s even longer before Sam seems to trust Benny completely, before he’s entirely sure that Benny, as he’s always promised, will never hurt him, will never make the damage worse, and will always treat Sam with the care he deserves.

But they get there, and Benny feels incredibly blessed every time another piece of that armor comes off.


End file.
